written by Erica Quam
Have you ever thought to yourself how amazing the coaching profession would be…if you didn’t have difficult athletes, staff, or administrators to deal with?
Coaching is 90% how you relate to people…and how they relate to you.
To be relatable you’ve gotta understand yourself, first.
Plenty of coaches “hide” behind the X’s and the O’s.
They prioritize tactics and fundamentals above the “other stuff”.
I believe it's the “other stuff” that makes a coach great!
THREE WAYS TO GROW AS A COACH
1. Seek ways to become more self aware.
If you have lots of challenging athletes or people you’re constantly struggling with, you may need a dose of self awareness.
I believe self awareness is THE most important leadership skill for you to develop.
If you don't know yourself - your blindspots, what triggers you, and the stories that keep you stuck - then you won't be able to relate as effectively to other people.
Work with a coach.
Ask for (and be open to) feedback from others.
Learn ways you can better relate to different types of people.
Adapt your behavior for more successful outcomes...rather than expecting everyone to change for you.
Ask yourself what your athletes are there to teach YOU vs. only focusing on what you’re trying to teach them.
There are people who show up in our lives to teach us. If we don’t learn a lesson the first time, we’ll may presented with these same “types” of people over and over again until we finally do.
2. Invest in yourself.
For you to be a better coach, become a better you.
I talk to a lot of coaches who feel guilt when they do anything for themselves.
This could be anything from taking a practice off, going to a conference, going to get a massage, or just having fun.
Let go of this guilt by as you begin to recognize and own your value.
Investing is different than spending.
Spending time, energy, or money is associated with a lack energy. Like there's not enough time, energy, or money to go around.
Investing contains an abundance energy. There IS enough time, energy, and money to invest in yourself because YOU are worth it.
Move away from the question, "how can I afford to do this" to "what do I need to do next to make this happen".
This is a totally different energy!
To be a great coach, find ways to invest in you:
Find at least one thing to invest your time doing each day to inspire yourself. This will help you engage with and inspire others.
Say yes to an opportunity to invest money in yourself - like getting a massage, work with a coach, or go on a retreat. (Money is the ultimate energy of commitment. You show how committed you are to yourself by investing money in yourself.)
Invest your energy in people who believe in you and want you to be at your best - in all areas of your life. Maybe you need more people in your life to make you laugh, help you take yourself less seriously, and help you experience the joy in coaching every day.
3. Connect with others.
Once you're more aware and invested, you'll find it easier to connect with others.
Pause long enough to give people your full attention instead of always being in motion, occupied, or distracted.
When you're having a conversation, take time to fully listen.
Listen with an intent to understand vs. an intent to respond. You’ll hear things differently!
Use active listening. It’s a skill! Paraphrase or repeat back what the other person said for emphasis and clarification.
Your athletes will feel more valued when they believe you see them, hear them, and can relate to them.
It doesn't take any more of your time.
It just takes your presence.
Leave a comment with ONE action you'll take to commit to your own growth. Share it below to officially commit and get some accountability.
If you’d like me to guide you through three days of growth and development, consider investing in the opportunity to attend a Women’s Coaching Summit - this April or June. You’ll learn a lot about yourself, connect with other coaches who help you expand your perspective, and come home with a network of support you can tap into all season.