What Makes A Coach Want To Quit?

I get calls from coaches every season.

They want to come to a coaching summit, but they're not even sure if they want to coach next season.

They think they want to quit.

They ask, “Should I even come to the summit?

They worry about "being a distraction" or "being a downer" to the group.

When I ask them what's up, it usually goes something like this:

"It was a really long, hard season. I haven’t talked to anyone else about the challenges I’m facing. It’s just gotten worse and worse all season long. Even if I had someone to talk to, I wouldn’t even know where to start!”

- OR -

"I’m the only female on my staff. There are things that I would do so differently. Maybe it’s just me though. I bring things up - that I think are important and they just blow it off. Or…they say it’s a good idea but things never ever change. I feel like all my feedback and ideas are just a total waste of time. I’m so frustrated. I think I'm just done with coaching."

- OR -

"I worked so hard this year. We didn't get the results I was hoping for...again. It’s almost as if any decision I make is going to come with complaints and resistance - from athletes, parents, the administration….and even my staff. I seriously can't win! I'm not sure it's worth all this effort."

I'd imagine there isn’t a single coach out there who hasn’t questioned their decision to be a coach - at least once (or maybe multiple times) - every single year.

When a coach brings up the possibility of quitting at a summit, they are often surprised to find out how many other coaches have been there, too.

Read More

What makes coaches want to quit?

It happens every year. Sometimes more than once.

A coach calls me up after their season. They want to come to a coaching summit, but they're not even sure if they want to coach next season. They are thinking of quitting.

They ask me if they should still come to the summit. They're worried about "being a distraction" or "being a total downer" to everyone in the group.

When I ask them what's up, it usually goes something like this:

"It was a really long, hard season. I feel disconnected. There's no one I can talk to about the challenges that come up. I don't even know where to start."

OR...

"I work on a staff with all male coaches...and they just don't get it. They don't get ME! I try to bring things up that I think are important and they blow it off. I end up getting so frustrated. I think I'm just done with coaching."

OR...

"I just worked so hard this year and didn't get the results I was hoping for...again. The athletes on my team complain about everything. I just can't win with them! I'm not sure it's worth all this effort."

I'd imagine that every single coach has questioned their decision to be a coach - at least once (maybe many times) every single year. 

Read More

The importance of reflection before the new year

You hear your phone alarm going off and slam your hand down on in an effort stop this unbelievably loud noise - as soon as possible. You stumble out of bed and dig through your drawer to find clothes for the day...and remember everything's still in the washer from last night. You head to the kitchen and open the box of cereal and realize you've only got a few crumbs left in the bottom. Arrggh!

You head into work and scan email before practice. You quickly skim through an email from a parent who proceeds to tell you exactly what they think of you...including how hard you're being on their daughter who is working so hard for you and "not getting the kind of coaching she deserves."

You head out to practice and before you can even say hello are bombarded by group of five athletes - each of them asking to do something different today because they're either sick, injured, or have an academic conflict.

DO YOU...

A. Blow up at everyone - including your assistant coach - begrudgingly coaching the workout with a totally crappy attitude

B. Bring a hint of sarcasm letting everyone know you had a great practice planned...and since everyone's sick or injured, today's the day you can just do whatever the heck you want...and then smile real big behind gritted teeth

Read More

3 things you're avoiding that's draining your energy

I've noticed a pattern that's come up recently with a few of the coaches I work with. I'm curious if you can relate?

Read through each hypothetical situation below and consider what you would do.

Note: Don't think too long. There are no right or wrong answers. Choose the letter that best describes your 'go-to' mode. (And...be honest.)

1. You're walking down the hall and see someone...at the other end of the hall...who you really don't want to talk to. What do you do?

Do you a) avert your eyes, find something interesting on the floor, pick up the pace and walk briskly walk by...like you're in a hurry b) duck into the closest restroom...and hope they don't come in c) pull your phone out and pretend to answer an important call d) suck it up and begin the conversation...awkwardly or e) none of the above? 

2. There's a big decision you need to make by tomorrow. What do you do? 

Do you a) go workout, turn up the music and try not to think about it b) go home, tune into a new Netflix series and numb out with three more episodes c) stay at the office late, like you're "really

Read More

3 stories that hold coaches back

We all have stories we tell ourselves. Some stories started out to protect us and helped us grow into the people we are today. There comes a time when these same stories no longer serve us and end up holding us back.

Here are the 5 stories I see coaches struggle with all the time.

1. I CAN DO IT ALL BY MYSELF

How it shows up...

You hand a project off to someone on your staff. It doesn’t get done right. Instead of taking the time to get really clear on your specific expectations of what it looks like when it’s done and done well...you go ahead and just do it yourself.

As a coach, you are capable of a lot. You are good at juggling a lot of things - all at once. Does the fact that you CAN do it mean you SHOULD do it? Of course not!

Read More

What negative thoughts and swimming pigs have in common

They're tired, broken down, and on the brink of a meltdown. This is the time of the season where trust is critical...and difficult. The hard work will pay off - it's just hard for your athletes to believe when they're in the midst of struggle. 

Brains are like velcro. Negative thoughts stick. Judgements, and criticisms burrow their way in. When the mind gets cluttered - with dark traffic - things can take a downward spiral. 

Your role as a coach is to help your athletes recognize the patterns of negative thoughts. This becomes especially important when they're tired and working hard. They may not even be aware of how much destruction goes on inside their heads.

It's not about staying positive. That's not always helpful or realistic. Trying NOT to think negative thoughts can sometimes make things worse. If you tell your athletes not to think about a swimming pig, the only thing they'll be able to think about...is a swimming pig. That's the nature of the mind.

Read More